Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, beer. Big fan.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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