just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
