The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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