Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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