I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
pray to the hookup gods
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
