It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
