wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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