How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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