Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
