I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
