this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
