Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
