and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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