She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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