Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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