i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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