it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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