Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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