yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
