last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
