I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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