I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
