Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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