So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
