Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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