Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
