I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
