I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
