Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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