But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
