The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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