Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
