I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
