Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we're making bets on your personal life
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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