it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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