I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
