I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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