And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
