There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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