I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
