At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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