Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
