So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
