hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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