We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
