I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
