i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
