bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
50% drunk capacity currently
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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