it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
