I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
